Book Review: A Bitch in Time – 30 Sarcastic Stitches for You to Stab

I tend not to review books. Most books are produced to a similar standard, and the themes are very personal; you’re either going to be interested or not interested. Of these books, the ones in particular that I always steer away from are sarky statements; most of these books are exactly the same, with riffs on the new home sweet home sampler “please don’t do coke in the bathroom”.
But today I’m going to break my rule; I’m going to review a book; and a sarky one at that! But stay with me, as there is a good reason to!

What Does It Include?

A Bitch In Time 30 Snarcastic Stitches For You To Stab Cross Stitch Book Cover (Source:
A Bitch In Time 30 Snarcastic Stitches For You To Stab Cross Stitch Book Cover (Source:
So let’s get the basics covered here; it contains a lot of the basic things any cross stitch book does:
Clear patterns ✔
Previews of the stitched pieces ✔
Instructions for beginners ✔
Fully of sarky statements ✔
Great imagery ✔
Yep, it’s got all the basics. Now to be fair, it does also have a lot more, such as count information, multiple ways to start, what to do with mistakes, finishing tips, and it also has some extras in the back for color changes or lettering alterations. Actually, this section also hides 4 tiny patterns too, which is a nice touch. But for the vast majority of readers, it’s going to be a standard cross stitch book with little in it you didn’t already know.
But that’s where we start talking about the real highlight of the book.

So Why Are You Reviewing It?

The vast majority of cross stitch sarky books contain a basic premise; a simple quote in a nice cross stitch font with a flowery border. Does it have them? Well, it has one. In a 30 pattern book. You see, the remaining 29 patterns are what really sell this book.
Taking smart quips and adding them to aid is pretty simple but the real power of this book is the way they’ve been added. Instead of a boring frame, they’ve been grafted on the side of a cactus, added to the front of a packet of pants, punched out of a magazine, lit up in neon and put on a poster.
These patterns go further than just the normal everyday sarky patterns. They’re truly designed perfectly in ways that simply aren’t seen anywhere else. When was the last time you saw a neon cross stitch pattern?
For me, the greatest thing this book has to offer is its blueprints. By that I mean it gives you everything you need to create a stunning pattern in the future using the styles in this book. It isn’t just a bunch of patterns, it’s a bunch of ideas.
But that would actually be a little unfair of a review for this book. It is filled with sarky patterns, all aching to be the new “please don’t do coke in the bathroom”, with clever touches that riff off expected clichés, and subvert your understanding of what they might be. This is what subversive cross stitch really is.

Truly Truly Truly Outraged Cross Stitch from A Bitch In Time (Source:
Truly Truly Truly Outraged Cross Stitch from A Bitch In Time (Source:


Is It Really That Good Though?

Yes. And just to prove it, I want to let you into a little secret; my neon cross stitch was heavily inspired by the one in this book (in fact, I stole their colors). I had already made a design that was…meh, but the style of the one in the book made me totally redesign it, and even steal the colors! That’s just how much I love it. It literally changed the pattern idea I had, and made me make something great.

“Tara and Roy definitely deserve a high-five for their brilliant execution of a stitched neon sign AND their understanding of where french fries fall on the priority list! A Bitch in Time lets you take a nice, constructive stabbing break anytime too much becomes WAY too much!”
Haley Pierson-Cox, author of Improper Cross-Stitch, Cross Stitch The Golden Girls, and Feminist Stitches


You're Next Cross Stitch from A Bitch In Time (Source:
You’re Next Cross Stitch from A Bitch In Time (Source:


So Is It Worth Getting?

Yes. It’s been a long time since I got a cross stitch book that I truly admired, but this is one.
If you’re interested in sarky stitches, it’s great; it has them, and mostly of the ruder kind. But even if you’re not interested in that (like me), it’s still a great book for what it can teach you about design. Not only did it totally change a pattern idea I had, but there’s another pattern that I’m thinking about too. For me, it’s a great book!
Digital copies are $24/£18and hard copies are $30/£23.

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This Post Has 2 Comments

  1. MarthaJean

    You seem extremely talented. The thread paintings are wonderful. Thanks,mjl

  2. Joyce Masa

    Wow! I really appreciate the encouragement to get this book. I don’t remember ever buying a cross stitch book. I have a lot of them I received from friends. I’m really interested in the letters and patterns. Mostly the inspiration you talked about.